Some simple rules from your local call jockey.

  by: mndsm

Many people are familiar with call centers. You know you’ve experienced one at least once. Calling to pay a credit card bill, receiving a call offering you another credit card, that leads to a bill, or maybe, you’ve had the distinct pleasure of having to deal with health insurance claims over the phone. I work in one of these call centers, specifically health insurance. I am not going to say who, but safe to say, you’ve heard of us. We get all manner of calls, from the simple authorization, all the way to denials of 100,000+ dollar claims, due to lack of benefits. Things happen, we’re all human. There are however, several things you can do to improve your experience.

#1- Guess what? We’re human too! When you are speaking to a representative on the other end of the line, realize that they are not a computer. This means, do not rattle numbers off to us at mach 2, expecting us to understand what they all mean. We aren’t that fast. Considering we have to answer a call, make sure the correct systems are running, pay attention to you, and write notes on every piece of the conversation, we don’t have time to plug numbers random places so you don’t have to repeat yourself. Do us all a favor, and hold off on bombing me with the entire contents of your card until I ask for it. Your life will be better for it.

#2- BE PREPARED. I cannot stress this enough. When you call us, chances are you have been on hold for a while. This means, you are sitting there, twiddling your thumbs. Instead of watching Jerry Springer, or beating your kids, or taking the dog for a walk, think about what you need. If it’s a claim, stuff like the doctor you saw and the day you saw him are helpful. Even more helpful are the contents of your insurance card. The ID number on that card is invaluable to you, even more so to us. Most of the time that is our sole means of locating you. If you put us on hold so you can watch that last little tidbit of Maury, or so you can beat your kids, hang up the phone. Really. You’re wasting your time, and you’re wasting my time. Providers- know what you’re calling me about. Make sure you have the member’s information, the date of service in question, and the question you want to ask ready to go.

#3- Pay attention. Please? I know it seems like a difficult task, but this is integral to our relationship. If I ask you for a last name, I do not want a date of service. I want a last name. I ask for a number of things, and in a certain order. Trust me; this is the fastest way possible for me to do this. I have had years of practice at these things, and am FAR more capable than you realize. I know what I’m doing. You may think you’re offering me help by giving me this information, but really, you’re slowing the process down.

#4- BE NICE. I realize there’s a reason you’re calling me. We all have bad days/weeks/lives. You’d rather wrench on your car or take the dog for a walk. I know I sure as hell would, especially when the sun is out. I’m here for a reason, I want the money. You call me because you’re dealing with money too. Chances are you want me to pay something. I have to be nice to you if I want to keep my job, thereby gaining money. Technically, you don’t have to be nice to me. But, if you are mean to me, things happen. If you start yelling at me, I’m not going to listen to you. If you threaten me with attorneys, the insurance commission, your mother, I don’t care. You can’t touch me. If you start using curse words, I do NOT have to warn you, I can thank you for calling, and hang up the phone. No ifs ands or buts about it. If I do hang up the call, I am going to add the information to your file that you were combative and were being aggressive, and I will then forward that email on to my co workers, and my supervisor. If you call from a doctor’s office, rest assured, I’ve already filed a complaint. We have a very high turnover here, due to folks like you. They have enabled us with the means to make sure we are as protected as we need to be, and WE WILL use it.

#5. Don’t call me drunk or high. Just. Don’t.

#6. Speaker phone is rude. we cannot take your call on speakerphone. We have confidential information that we are sharing, and as a result, we need to be assured that you are on a confidential line as well. I don’t care if your grandmother needs to hear this, or if you have no arms. Get a headset if you have to. Another thing on speaker phone, we can’t hear you. Talking to a speakerphone is like talking through two tin cans and some string. Great fun if you’re 5, but utterly useless for what we need to accomplish. If your hands are too busy to be able to hold a handset, and you do not have a headset/wireless attachment, call me back. Get to a place where you aren’t driving around, making dinner, whatever. That goes DOUBLE for those of you calling in on a cell phone. Cell phones traditionally have terrible reception, and the sound quality suffers as a result. This only gets worse with speaker phone. Don’t use it.


This next one is a special note to my doctor’s offices and my billing services.

#7 For GOD’S SAKE hire competent people! I know this seems like a difficult and tall order, but trust me it’s not. You should be able to tell everything you need within 5 minutes of the first interview. If the person cannot speak clearly in person, uses a lot of slang, or has a general monotone/ difficult voice? Not going to work on the phone. A good rule of thumb is this. You want your people to sound like they are on the radio. Cheerful, knowledgeable, and with good grammatical skills. Enunciation is also a must. You have to remember, we are running our entire phone system through one offsite server area. You’re probably on some sort of VOIP system tied into your computer as well. These signals tend to get lost in translation, and if you have someone that constantly sounds like they have a mouth full of Twinkies, it’s just not going to work. If they’re good, but have no phone skills, hire them, but DO NOT let them talk to me. If you have people that tend to space out, lose track of time, or otherwise flake on the assigned duties, either through chemical enhancement or sheer ineptitude, these are not the people you want calling me. I have no time to wait around while your biller forgets what she does 10 times, has to put me on hold, loses the claim two more times, and then finally have to call me back. You have to remember, I am responsible for answering and resolving anywhere between 50 and 100 calls, a day. I don’t have time for this. Which leads me to my next point……..

#8 I get it. You’ve been on hold. But you spending 20 minutes bitching me out because you had to sit and wait on the phone while your casserole burned, you know what that does? That backs up the entire call center for everyone else. And chances are, you’re on hold for that long, because the person before you did the same thing. Personally, I could care less if you bitch at me for two hours. I have car magazines and the internet. I can tune you out ALL day. But, this is not going to get the problem you have solved. If you have a legitimate complaint, I’d be happy to help you through it. It’s what I’m here for.

#9. Be brief. I don’t need to hear your entire life story. It’s not that I don’t care. Ok, I don’t care. What your child did the night before, or who your wife is sleeping with is of no consequence to me. I get it; you have a rough time right now, that’s why you’re calling. But none of this information will help me get you what you need any faster. I’m here to get you what you need, be it referrals, claims, whatever the case, as quickly as possible. I’m sure you want to get on with your life, and I sure as hell want to get on with mine. The more to the point you are, the better it is for both of us.

Basically, be a good person. Being a telephone tough guy gets you nowhere. We’re here because they have not taught a computer to do my job, and you should consider yourself fortunate that you have a skilled person on the other end of the line. We will do whatever we can, and we will do it as quickly as possible, you just have to be able to work with us.

Thank you for calling and have a nice day!

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